she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize