porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
