i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
