I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
being pregnant is like rehab
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize