pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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