I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
