My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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