shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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