Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
