morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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