I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
