is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
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You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
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They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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