His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
