I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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