i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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