also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
