I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize