Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
