real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
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Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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