At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
