I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
