She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
