We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
