fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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