Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
