Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
