How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
