I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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