You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
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Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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