What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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