I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
