All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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