absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just threw up on my dentist
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
