dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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