I wish my penis had an off switch
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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