note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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