she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
