I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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