Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
