when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
