Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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