Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
