i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
