hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
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at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
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Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one