We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?