I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?