You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
