She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.