dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me