what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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