Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize