Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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