I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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