my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
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Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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