Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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