Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
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