I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
