Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
