They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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