I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
