R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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