i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
