Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
