i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
