Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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