My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize