Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
