I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
